Thursday, July 2, 2009

My own private sanctuary

In grad school, I spend much more time in my head. Reading these studies where researchers observe people in chat rooms and forums without the people knowing that they’re being observed. Articles are being written over how many times they type “y a” instead of “il y a”, without their knowledge, permission or input.

So, I caught myself doing the same thing…watching this girl, sitting by alone, eating like a cat would, if it had a spoon. Dip, lick, dip, lick…each time, sticking her tongue out of her mouth. Why on earth is she doing that? As a pure intellectual, I can postulate, but it will be sans preuves, without proof.

As a kid, I spend a lot of time in my own head…heck, I was an only child…we do that. But now I remember it’s kinda a fun place...And it embarrasses me to show too much of it. I’ve actually deleted some of my comments off Facebook for sounding too smart, and therefore, for being off-putting, hard to relate to. The irony is, of course, it’s FACEBOOK. Whatever. Inane diversions keep me sane. That, Tyrone Wells and Twilight. I’m on the last book.

It’s a conflicting desire. To be myself and express the intellectual enjoyment I’m experiencing in school but not to offend or appear to be putting on airs. A desire, I recently learned, that is very American. A French person would certainly not be embarrassed to use big words, but their society values intellect as our values character, ethics. Both are good.

But I’d rather blog than study.

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